Just when I thought life could not get any sweeter, I received an invite to the sneak preview party of Auntie M's Cake Lounge, Upper Floor, De Courcy's Arcade, Cresswell Lane, Glasgow.
Having already partaken in an unladylike amount of Auntie M's cupcakes, cookies and confections as well as her outlandishly luscious cakes at Heart Buchanan, Byers Road, I determined that like an alcoholic invited to a free bar I would approach Auntie M's complimentary cake buffet table last night with total devotion.
Alas, I am most disappointed to report that due to frail restraint I fell, all-too-soon, under-the-table. Any thoughts of pacing myself so as to try a little of everything in a gentile, pinky-pointing-fashion flew away when I was faced with vintage tableware laden with such sweet thrills as umpteen cupcakes (mini and big sizes) in chocolate and vanilla with pretty pink flowers and shimmery glitter ...
... giant-sized chocolate, banana, coconut and pistachio frosting-topped cakes, chocolate chip cookies, a lemon-drizzle cake affair, a beyond-gourmet caramel shortcake that should be classed an illegal substance and a completely new range of confectionery from America, Canada and beyond not previously available in Scotland. (I said, not previously available in Scotland!) And - AND a sumptuous range of you-wouldn't-know-it VEGAN cakes!
Look, truly, I made a valiant effort. I managed several mini cupcakes, half a slice of iced banana cake, someone else's leftover chocolate icing, a large chocolate cupcake, two slices of caramel shortcake (therein lies my demise) a glass of champagne, some pink lemonade and two tiny Tootsie rolls from a child's goody bag.
Yes, the children received goody bags of 1950's cut-out and dress-up paper dolls and clothes, Auntie M's keyrings and magnets and -- then the bag was politely taken from me so I know not what else.
Today I am very annoyed at myself for finding it increasingly difficult to focus on the positive of all the delectable tastes and rapturous sugar-joy I experienced instead of fixating on not managing to eat even a morsel of iced pistachio cake. I LOVE this pistachio cake.
I have eaten it before - it actually contains an abundance of real pistachios, people. *Taking a moment. Imagining. Remembering.* Damn, I shall have to go buy a slice on Monday when Auntie M's Cake Lounge opens.
I should say sorry to anyone at the party who may have seen me apparently snorting candles in a 1950's cabinet. These were sense-expanding scented candles with the aroma of oatmeal cookies.
I shall never stand in the line at Bradfords or Greggs again, my dear. Never. Auntie M's does take-away, of course, in pretty boxes. And orders can be placed for celebration cakes.
I shall not bother with any other tearoom, I shall shun Fortnum & Mason. I long for the solace of free coffee refills from a buxom waitress wielding Cona-style glass jug and witty one-liners while I fantasise I am honeybunny or pretty much any character in any American movie diner scene.
Sweet Mother of Cake I have tasted heaven. I shall never come back to earth.
No comments:
Post a Comment